Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU)

Subject: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:55 pm

Peter was nervous, and was probably gripping the umbrella too roughly, but its wasn't an essential detail. If he happened to break the handle, then he'd just buy another one; it was a cheap thing anyway. He took in a long shallow breath and exhaled, bringing the hand not holding the umbrella up to his freezing cheeks. The material of his hand-knitted glove was smooth against his skin and brought much appreciated warmth, but Peter couldn't help but hum softly to himself in discomfort. Peter didn't mind rain or the cold, but he often didn't want to deal with it, especially now.

He'd been excited to take that mandatory 101 English class that all starting freshman had to take eventually. He'd dusted off some of his old works and used all of the points the professor had mentioned to greatly enrich them. But today was the inevitable day- the only part of the class Peter was guaranteed not to enjoy. Today he was going to have to share his work with one of his peers, and the thought of that made him want to squirm. Peter had a definite fondness for writing, had it for a very long time now. He often spent hours on the computer typing away until his eyes got sore and he had to replace his contacts with the small pair of glasses he often had with him. He'd spent many an evening drifting off to sleep in his chair and drooling on his reliable little laptop. But though Peter had boundless confidence and unrivaled drive, he was very self-conscious about his own writing. It was a hobby, something he did for fun and nothing more.

There had been one time when he had been younger that he'd let one of his older brothers read some of his short works. His brother had fallen asleep on page two, and had left Peter feeling like a horrible writer with no mastery of the language. The experience had dashed any dreams he'd ever had of becoming a well-reclaimed novelist. From then on, he'd swore off sharing any of his work with anyone. Now almost five years later, he was trudging through the rain and the cold so that he could share a mandatory creative writing project -one that he had rather enjoyed writing actually, but that wasn't the point!- with a complete stranger. The thought made him huff in despair.

A part of him thought loudly that he shouldn't be forced to do this, but he wanted the grade. If he didn't get it this time, he'd have to repeat the class, and he might lose his scholarship if his grades fell too low. So he was stuck letting a complete stranger read his work.

Peter shivered, from both the cold and what he was being made to do, and when the library came into view, Peter outright moaned. Why him? It wasn't fair! He continued hoping that his assigned buddy - a kid with a really weird name, R-something - would just text him saying that he couldn't make it. That wouldn't solve the problem, but it would put it on the back burner till Peter thought up a permanent solution. Hoping against hope, Peter flipped out his cell phone and checked his messages for what had to be the fifteenth time that day. Raivis' -that was his name- name flashed on the screen, but it was only his latest confirmation e-mail, stating that the two of them would meet on the library's third floor at 1:10. Peter sighed and exited the message inbox with a pout. He looked at the phone as if it had personally betrayed him and shoved it back into his bag.

He continued walking for a few minutes till something struck him. Blue eyes widened and he reached for his phone once more. Peter flipped the item open and his face fell. It was already 1:30!?! How had that happened?! He'd left with plenty of time to get here! Peter let out an animated 'fuck!' before pocketing his phone and dashing down the sidewalk. He totally didn't want this event to take place, but that was no excuse to leave someone waiting for twenty minutes!

About halfway there, a strong gust of wind flew past him and his umbrella went flying. Peter groaned angrily and turned around to grab it, only to see that the flimsy thing was bent in all sorts of unnatural ways for any functioning umbrella. Peter glared at the thing before dashing back, grabbing it angrily, and hurrying for the library's doors.

When he did finally enter he deposited the useless umbrella in the nearest trashcan. It earning him a dirty look from the librarian, but Peter gave her an apologetic look and went about his way. He wasn't that wet, but a decent layer of rain had made his clothing at least damp, and his pants sloshed as he walked. It was only then that he realized the umbrella probably wasn't the reason the librarian had glared at him- he was tracking in all sorts of water.

Mumbling to himself, Peter hurried to the back of the library and bounded up the stairs two at a time. Hopefully Raivis was still here; he'd feel bad if he wasn't, and an apology would definitely be in order- Peter hated apologizing.

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Sat Nov 13, 2010 1:37 pm

Raivis lounged in a chair on the third floor of the library as he waited. Looking at the clock mounted on the wall, he frowned. It was getting late, and he still saw no sign of his partner from English class. Had he just missed him somehow? Raivis got to his feet and did another lap around the bookshelves just to make sure. The boy -Peter, if he remembered right- was still nowhere to be found. Maybe he forgot, Raivis thought, sighing. He looked outside the window and frowned at the storm out there. He wasn’t in a hurry to venture back into that and the library was his safe haven of books and quiet reading time, so he might as well stay. Even if Peter never showed up, he still had plenty of work to get done. And there were…certain places he’d rather avoid.

Raivis made his way back to the chair, trying to hide the slight limp as he walked. No one would ever guess the kind of life this seemingly-innocent boy led off-campus. Raivis was smart. He was polite. He was timid, a little withdrawn, but still friendly. And beneath all of that, he was trapped. His home life was a prison of corruption, with a family full of those who believed themselves above the law. It was the life he had been born into, and somehow he had managed to turn out alright thanks to the kindness of a few, but he was still a part of their world, and there was no escaping it any time soon.

He sat down and sighed again. He’d get away from it someday. That’s why he was going to college- the first in his family to do so. It was hard keeping up his studying and giving into their demands, though. Raivis wasn’t worth much to them when it came to the dirty work- he was in no way intimidating, he was the first to run from a fight, and he had no desire to learn some of the most persuasive methods of negotiation…but he had a sweet face. And sweet faces were good when it came to sealing deals and to delivering messages where anyone more important was too valuable to send. He was still a Galante. Not a Galante that would not be terribly missed if killed or taken hostage, but still a member of a family that demanded respect for all its children. And most of the people he had been sent to did show him some respect- by not taking his life. It didn’t mean they couldn’t rough him up a little to show his family exactly what they thought of their deals. Raivis just wished he didn’t bruise so easily…

School was the only place he felt safe. Even then, he knew it was only a delusion. No place was safe when you got involved in the kind of work he did, but being surrounded with normal people his age, people living normal lives not full of fear about whether or not they were going to live to turn in their next term paper, was good for him. For now, he could just pretend that he belonged here and prepare himself for the life he wanted to have as soon as he graduated.

There was nowhere on campus he liked better than the library. Raivis had always been fond of reading and literature- that’s why he had decided to become an English major. He especially liked poetry, and his dream was to teach a course on it someday. He also liked to write, of course. Prose could be a bit challenging at times, but it was still fun. Raivis enjoyed making up stories in his head when he was bored, and putting them down on paper didn’t take much effort. He was so well-read that the words and sentence structures just seemed to flow right out of him, from his brain to his fingertips. He loved escaping to the world of his characters- a world where for once, he was in control. Still, the thought of sharing his work did make him a bit nervous. Even though he had some confidence in his skills, he was afraid of other people judging him or putting him down. He really just wanted to be proud of something and to have someone else be proud of him too.

This time he had written science fiction. He usually shied away from the more realistic and abstract genres; his classmates wrote plenty of those, and they were usually rather depressing. Not that he didn’t like stories with serious and even dark themes- he wrote plenty himself, but they often hit a little too close to home for his tastes, and he was reminded of experiences he’d rather forget. People rarely died in his stories, but they often suffered; they often suffered a lot. Especially the main characters, the ones that Raivis identified with the most.

Why can’t I get away from this? Raivis thought, glancing over his manuscript again. It had been a fun story to write, but Raivis wasn’t sure he was satisfied with it. The protagonist was a young man stuck working as a cabin boy for a band of space pirates. He had been taken in by them when he was a child and had no choice but to stay, even if he hated being a part of their crew and undertaking the small assignments they forced on him. Then, the pirates had taken a princess from another world hostage, and in return for his kindness towards her, the princess had promised to take the boy with her when she was rescued. The boy had ended up freeing her himself, though, and the two had fled together, barely escaping the pirates who cursed their heroic, traitorous cabin boy. Is it missing something?

Raivis was pulled from his thoughts, however, when he heard the sound of footsteps thumping up the stairs of the otherwise quiet library. Who’s making so much noise? Raivis wondered as he stared at the stairwell. Then, suddenly, who should burst out onto the third floor, but the one he was waiting for- Peter. Raivis’ eyes widened in surprise. Sure, he was almost half an hour late, but what did it matter? At least he had shown up. He looked like he had been in quite a rush, too. His hair was ruffled, and his cheeks were flushed as he panted from running up three flights of stairs. Raivis noticed his pants were sopping wet too. Had he ran through the rain to get here?

Raivis stood up and waved at his classmate, keeping his voice low as he called out to him to get his attention.

“Hey, Peter! Over here…”

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Sat Nov 13, 2010 3:49 pm

Three flights of stairs wouldn't have been much for him in a normal state. Peter was pretty athletic, definitely in shape, and tried to eat healthy. He was very conscious of his health for such a young age, so any other day he wouldn't have been huffing and puffing and wheezing on his way up the stairs, but today all of those factors didn't seem to apply. He was late, he had ran through the soaking rain, and the closer he got the more nervous he became, not only because he didn't want to share his story any more, but more on the fact that Raivis might still be waiting for him. The more he thought on it he felt horrible. A part of him hoped that he hadn't; that Raivis had just cursed him name, stalked off and went to get some lunch instead.

As Peter bounded onto the third floor, he found that indeed his hopes were not to be realized. There stood Raivis motioning him over; that strange quiet kid that didn't like to talk. Obviously he was much nicer than anyone in class ever gave him credit for, and Peter felt his face heat up embarrassingly. Now that he was sure Raivis hadn't left Peter visibly seemed to deflate and stumbled over to the set of plush chairs Raivis had chosen. When he was close enough he reached his hand up to scratch at his head absentmindedly, obviously trying to figure out what he should say in this situation.

"I'm very, very sorry. I never intend to be so late, you really didn't have to wait for me. I promise I'll make it up to you."

Peter was as sincere as he could be, it was really rude to have made this guy wait so long only to read one of Peters horrible stories. It was just a little thing about a young knight slaying horribly monsters, discovering himself and maybe finding his true love along the way. Child's fiction at best, nothing worth waiting thirty minutes for, and now that Peter thought on it he didn't even look presentable. Definitely not how any respectable person should look for a first real meeting. His hair was wet, and he could feel parts of it clinging to his forehead in uneven moist strands. Which ever parts were not stuck to him unattractively were probably not any better off. His shirt didn't look that bad, though it looked significantly wrinkled now that he actually took a second to look at it; and then of coarse the pants. The soaked pants that were clinging to him like nobody's business and would probably take quite a while to dry.

So wonderful day, he had to share one of his horrible stories, he was thirty minutes late, and he looked like utter rubbish. Wonderful way to begin any sort of friendly relationship.

"I know we have the same class, but I haven't formally introduced myself yet, I'm Peter Kirkland, its a pleasure to meet you!" He extended his hand, but realized it was rather wet and unsightly, so he quickly withdrew it and let it hang in front of him like an idiot for a few seconds before shoving it into his pocket. His still very wet pocket. If he wasn't blushing before he must have been now, he felt like a complete idiot, and if Raivis hadn't been convinced of his stupidity before, he surely was now.

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:58 am

Raivis watched as Peter approached him and gave his unfortunate appearance a sympathetic look. The poor boy looked like head been thrown out into the eye of a storm, and Raivis realized this was probably not very far off.

“Don’t worry about it,” he replied. “I’m sorry you had to go out in that! The weather’s really nasty today. That’s why I decided to stay in here, so really, it was no trouble.”

He felt bad that Peter had gotten so drenched, but at the same time, was glad that they had managed to catch each other anyway. His classmate seemed nice enough. Peter was one of the most loud-spoken members of the class- it seemed like he always had an answer for everything and an opinion to confidently share…whereas Raivis had to be coaxed to even open his mouth during a discussion. He found it had to speak up in front of the other students because he often stuttered in front of those he didn’t know well, afraid they were going to judge him or disagree with what he had to say. It wasn’t just his shyness- Raivis had had bad experiences of what had happened when he had let his mouth run ahead of him. If he didn’t think over exactly what he wanted to say and stopped it at that, his lips would start babbling, outrunning his brain and often spilling words that had the potential to land him in deep trouble with the less patient and forgiving. It made him shudder to think about it.

For all his boldness in class, though, Peter was looking rather sheepish at the moment. He introduced himself with enough gusto, but when he held his hand out in front of him like a dead fish, Raivis barely had time to process he wanted him to shake it before his classmate retracted it quickly. Raivis’ eyes were clouded in confusion for a moment while he processed what had happened, and then, they glinted in slight amusement. It made him feel guilty to take pleasure in someone else’s awkwardness, but at least it wasn’t him in that familiar position this time.

“I’m Raivis Galante,” he replied with a slight bow of his head. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

He would have offered his hand, but he didn’t want to embarrass Peter and figured he probably didn’t want to shake it anyway with the state his own was in. His classmate’s face was burning red, and Raivis frowned a bit while he tried to think of a way to make him feel more comfortable.

“Why don’t we sit down?” he suggested. “It’s warm over there. The chairs on this floor are very comfortable, and there’s no one around, so I’m sure it’d be okay if we talked.”

He turned and settled himself back into his seat. His manuscript was still sitting on the armrest. Raivis picked it up a bit nervously before looking back up at Peter, waiting for him to join him before offering his work to his classmate.

“Here’s my story…It’s not much good, but I hope you like it anyway,” he said quietly, holding it before him in fingers that were tightly clenched.

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Mon Nov 15, 2010 8:21 am

Peter nodded slightly when Raivis motioned for him to sit, and moved to join him. He sat down a little to much excitement, and his pants made an embarrassing squishing noise when he did. Peter attempted to ignore it, but cringed all the same. Today was just not his day.

"Ya, it really is coming down. I guess I can blame it for why your still here though, so I guess some good came of it." He laughed awakewardly to himself at the statement, and looked away. What was with him today? He wasn't always this irresponsible and stupid. Maybe he was coming down with something. Or those stupid stuttering Kirkland genes were finally kicking in. Peter visibly shuddered, that was definitely not what he wanted to be thinking about.

He realized that Raivis had been handing his story over for a few minutes, and that Peter had been horribly inattentive in letting it sit there for so long. Peter cursed himself inwardly and bounded up to grab it. He flashed his best smile and looked down at the bundle of papers.

"I'm sure its great! You seem like the really emotional type, the kind of person who would be really great at writing!" The words were out of his mouth before he realized exactly what he was saying. He did think that, but that wasn't exactly something you would mention at a first meeting, it was far to presumptuous!

"Oh! I, mean- well, um...What I was trying to say was- you know what? I'm just going to read this and try to stop talking."

Peter placed the pages down, still berating himself in his head and handed over his own once he had fished it out of his bag. He handed it over with a very hesitant move, but masked that with a confident smile.

"Here you are! I'm sorry for the writing, I'm not very good at it, so you'll have to suffer thought it. You know how it is, just have to get through that first English class and then I never have to take another one again, ha ha ha...At least its short?" He gave a sort of goofy grin at that one, the same grin that always got him wacked upside the head at home. Despite that Peter liked to think it was endearing...

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Wed Nov 17, 2010 12:15 pm

Raivis had to fight not to laugh when he heard Peter’s wet pants squish loudly against the leather of the seat. It was difficult to do - he hadn’t had a good laugh in a while and was sort of out of practice when it came to suppressing one. What came out was something like a strangled snort, and then, it was Raivis’ turn to blush with embarrassment.

He let out a nervous chuckle as he still held his story before him, waiting for Peter to take it. When he finally did, Raivis sighed a bit- not really in relief, but in accepted defeat. It was in his classmate’s hands now; there was no getting it back until he was done with it. He threw the story a doubtful frown, still unsure of why he was so dissatisfied with it. He supposed he’d have to wait until Peter gave him some feedback, and if it hadn’t been resolved by then, he’d just have to pick it apart himself later.

Peter looked happy enough to have it, but when he spoke those words, Raivis flinched. “Emotional?” Did he really give off that vibe? He stared down at the hands curled into tight fists on his lap self-consciously. It was true that he cried easily and was often passionate about things in private, but when it came to a situation where exposing his feelings could be dangerous, Raivis was actually capable of becoming quite stoic. It was a survival skill he had developed, though he still wasn’t much good at it. Even in that state, it was hard for him to keep his body from trembling. He prayed Peter would never have to see it. Maybe he’s right…Maybe I am just a wimp.

Despite his discomfort, Raivis still managed a smile. His classmate had complimented him after all, and he didn’t want Peter to feel awkward about how it had sounded. He took Peter’s story from him and was surprised to find the stack of papers was only about half as thick as his own. It really was short. Or maybe mine’s just too long. The silly smile his classmate threw him earned another bottled giggle, and Raivis felt a foreign warmth spread throughout him. Maybe this is what it felt like to get along with someone.

“I won’t be suffering,” he assured him. “I love to read, and well…English is my major, so there’ll be a lot more classes to get through yet. I’m looking forward to them.”

It was the most confident he had sounded in a long time.

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Thu Nov 18, 2010 7:14 am

Peters eyes widened, and he felt what minuscule amount of confidence he had gained from their little exchange - though it was mostly at his own expense - die in a fiery pit. Raivis was an English major. An English major was going to read his horribly written, badly thought out, waste of paper story. He tried not to show it, but he was sure the smile on his face looked rather strained. He spoke English often at home with the family, but actually writing in English was another story all together. Living in Italy had greatly limited his knowledge of English words and common phrases. Even though he had won a spelling bee back in England years ago, he'd lost most of that by now. To have an English major reading his stuff was easily going to shed off quite a few years to his probably already short lifespan.

"Oh, really? So you've studied English composition before and its your major. Ha, well I guess I've read a lot, but that doesn't have much of a bearing on what makes a good writer I suppose. Ha ha, ha..." It had meant to be small conversation, not a veiled, strangled plea of mercy form some higher being that was not going to answer his call for better writing skills.

Noticing how horrible that sounded, Peter quickly back tracked, flashing that same goofy grin before speaking. "So you like to read? Me too, what do you enjoy reading?" Now that was how you did small talk, Peter thought to himself. He was sure that had been a wonderfully drastic change in demeanor for him, and hoped that it didn't scare Raivis off or something. The guy always looked like he could bolt out of a room at any time, but Raivis had looked like he'd been enjoying himself so far. Peter just hoped it kept going that way. If he was good for something, it was a laugh at least.

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Mon Nov 29, 2010 7:25 am

“I wouldn’t say that,” Raivis replied. “Reading is one of the most important parts of being a good writer. You can’t be one if you don’t.”

Raivis felt that the reason words and phrases came so easily to him was that he absorbed so much of them from the books he read. Even though English wasn’t his native language, he had little trouble grasping it with all of the literature he was exposed to. He was sure Peter was better than he thought he was too. He wondered where his classmate’s usually unmistakable confidence had gone. Was he intimidated by the fact that Raivis was an English major? That can’t be it. This guy is so fluent. He must just be underestimating himself or trying to be modest.

“I like to read a lot of different things,” Raivis said in response to his partner’s question. “Especially fantasy and well…romance,” he added a little bashfully. “I also really enjoy poetry, so poetic styles are my favorite. It just makes me feel so calm and relaxed. Literature like that is so pleasant to read, but I can’t help but love action and adventure too. How about yourself?”

He could feel his face turning a bit red. Usually he wasn’t as open towards people when it came to talking about his more sensitive side, but for some reason, he felt like he could connect with Peter and share a bit more about himself. Is this what it’s like to trust someone? he wondered, but rather than comfort him, the thought only filled him with dread. No…it’s too dangerous to let my guard down like that. I can’t let anyone get too close…It’ll only end badly for them. He didn’t want to think of what his family would do if they found out he had made a friend on the “outside,” someone who had no relation to them and could only end up discovering their illegal affairs. Someone whose mouth might have to be permanently closed. We’re not friends, Raivis reminded himself. Just partners. After this assignment is over, we’ll just be nothing but classmates again. It’ll all be how it was before.

But even though he told himself this, he found himself wishing there was a way, despite his better judgment, that it could somehow end up not being true.

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Mon Dec 06, 2010 9:59 am

Peter listened as Raivis tried to make him feel better about the situation. Had he really sounded as unsure as he felt? He was such an idiot some times. One minute he was being obnoxious the next he couldn't form a cohesive though, let alone a sentence that didn't demean himself in some adverse way. It was annoying, but he reminded himself that Raivis was talking to him still and that brought some sort of relief to his mind. Raivis rarely talked in class. He wasn't the kind of person that made his thoughts known to anyone. He was usually the kid around the front two rows that everyone tended to ignore, that blended in and you didn't notice slip out. It was actually really nice to get him talking for once, he had a charmingly docile voice. He definitely didn't warrant all the hell he put up with for being good at what he did and not bragging about it.

As Raivis's voice dipped and bobbed around him, Peter found himself enthralled with what the other student was saying. It wasn't even all that interesting! But at every utterance of things he liked Peter's mind seamlessly found something similar that he could relate to, and he had to school himself more than once to keep his mouth shut and wait until Raivis was done talking. Interrupting the other would be unspeakably rude, and Peter feared that once he started, that his mouth would just run off with him. The pile of things building up inside of him to say made him excited and bashful at the same time. He'd always been graced with something to say at just about every occasion, but it wasn't often that his mind screamed that he wanted to speak quite this much. It must have been Raivis, there had to be something about this guy that just made Peter nervous and giddy and all together comfortable in an entirely uncomfortable way. It didn't make any sense, and the more Raivis spoke the more Peter was enthralled.

Suddenly Raivis had stopped. Perhaps it hadn't been as sudden as Peter thought it to be, but the fact that he was no longer talking caught Peter completely by surprise, and he couldn't help but inwardly wince. He'd wanted to keep listening.

He noticed the light peppering of color on Raivis's cheeks, and his heart seemed to freeze. That couldn't have been what he thought it was. Could it? Was Raivis blushing? No, it couldn't be. And if he was it had to only be for Peter's sake. He imagined that he looked much like a lopsided puppy ambling along on too big paws with eyes that didn't fit its tiny head. Because he felt much like that, new and excited about the world simply because there was something new and enthralling and interesting in the world once more.

No matter how he tried to tackle the issue, his mind continued to come up empty on exactly why this feeling was.

It was only as he sat there looking at Raivis intently that he realized that an uncomfortable silence had taken hold of the two of them the minute Raivis had stopped talking. Peter had been to lost in his own compounding thoughts to realize it till now, and he found himself shaking himself softly in perpetration for the eventual water fall of words that were going to make themselves know, if he liked it or not.

"I enjoy a variety of books as well! Fantasy strikes me most often, I've such a fondness for mythical creatures and dashing hero's, I'm honestly read far to many! Theres just something enthralling about a good fantasy novel that can grip you so! I like some romance as well, though it tends to be more drama than anything. I'm particularly fond of Shakespeare's romantic comedies. Midsummer Night's Dream and the Tempest are my favorite of his romantics, though I must say I've a fondness for most of his work. Though romance isn't usually what I read I have read some of the classics, such as Gone With the Wind, and Emma. The current genre doesn't seem as enthralling though. I tried those vampire ones, what were they called? Evening? I can't remember, but I read them and I just didn't find myself enjoying it! It was my first time back in the genre and I just could not find myself sitting there. There are so many good books I should read that I just could not sit around for them to develop! Maybe you can suggest some of your favorite romance novels, I'd love to see what else I can find. My knowledge of romance novels is dismally small at best. But I do love poetry I find its nice to read one when I just don't have time to devour a real book, and don't want the emotional turbulence of a good short story. I adore reading poetry and learning new words, I feel I don't get enough of English here, so I like to keep track of my vocabulary as much as possible!"

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Wed Dec 15, 2010 6:34 am

It was quiet. Raivis tensed up, not feeling all that comfortable with the way Peter was starting at him and the awkward silence that had come in between the two of them after he had finished admitting what he liked to read. He looked away embarrassedly and was about to attempt to change the subject when suddenly, the silence was broken and a stream of words flowed from Peter’s mouth, so quickly that Raivis barely had the time to process them. His mind grabbed at a few keywords that formed a string of something like, “Fantasy, heroes, drama, Shakespeare, Emma, vampire, romance, poetry…English, vocabulary.”

He stared at his classmate, dumbfounded. He was pretty sure there had been a request in there somewhere, but he couldn’t think coherently enough to remember what it was. Instead, he just nodded, forcing a smile and applying the face of interest and acknowledgement that was so well practiced in his line of work.

“I try to pick up new vocabulary as often as I can myself,” he replied, reacting to the last thing he had heard. “In fact, I probably learn more English from what I read than from anywhere else.”

He glanced around at the shelves of books around them and then back at Peter, meeting his deep blue eyes with his own unusually colored purple ones. He was still a little put off by his classmate’s strange and sudden change in behavior, but he tried to forget it and instead, gave him a reassuring smile. They still had an assignment to get through after all, and he didn’t want any tension on confusion between them interfering with that. He glanced down at the story in his hands.

“I’ll start reading this now.”

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:29 pm

The split second 'what did this idiot just do' look that he received from Raivis was enough for Peter to want to jump up, and race out of the library as fast as he could. He'd screwed it up, what ever 'it' was, he'd totally ruined it. He was sure of it, there couldn't be any other solution to why Raivis had given him that look. The verbal vomit that had spewed from his mouth had ruined any chance of getting to know this - very interesting - person and Peter found himself wallowing in self disgust as soon as he was done. Really, that was a habit he had to get out of! Being a loud mouth was not only unsightly, it was unseemly! Who wanted to associate with someone like that? Not Raivis, obviously, and Peter really couldn't blame him it was-

And then the look on Raivis's face changed entirely, and with it went Peter's worries. Raivis was calm, cool and collected, and he was smiling! He had taken Peter's unsavory habit, and was not running in fear of it. The dread and inclination to run like the dickens gradually slipped from Peters mind entirely. He hadn't ruined whatever was developing between them, and that made his heart swell for some reason he could not explain. As Raivis responded to him Peter couldn't help the light peppering of warmth he felt around his cheeks. Raivis had even been paying attention to him! Most people just told him he should see someone about that and laughed at him.

"Yes, it's the same with me." Peter offered in response, laughing softly to himself. But for once in this exchange his laughter wasn't a way of making small talk or to inadvertently mock himself, but instead was of actual enjoyment. Peter found a warm smile spread across his face and didn't see a need to move it. This was nice, this was very nice.

They fell into silence, but it didn't seem uncomfortable, just a pause in their regular conversation so that something else could come up. It was strange, normally Peter found silence strange and stifling, but this was definitely not the case. He could have let this pass for quite a while before feeling the need to say something else, but it didn't take long for Raivis to speak up.

Peter almost jumped at the statement. That had been the whole idea, hadn't it?

"Oh! You're right, so will I!" Peter smiled brightly once more towards Raivis and then reached for his bag. He brought out a notebook he kept for the class and turned to a new sheet before retrieving his pencil and starting on the piece. He wanted to do a good job of this, surely Raivis deserved it!

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:19 am

Raivis hadn’t missed the reddening of Peter’s face before the two of them started reading quietly to themselves. It was so strange- he was used to people glaring at him when he talked, giving him a neutral expression, or even just looking bored, but no one who had talked to Raivis for any reason in his life had ever blushed. The blonde was confused about what had his partner looking so flustered. It wasn’t as if he had said anything all that special. Raivis chose to shrug it off for now, but not before returning the smile with one of his well-practiced grins. It didn’t come out nearly as forced as he would have expected- in face, it almost felt real. He’s a classmate, not a client, Raivis reminded himself. You don’t have to try so hard.

He let his face fall back into a more serious expression and gave a small, quiet sigh as he looked down at the paper before him. This was the closest he ever got to being social. He appreciated the company of another person, someone he didn’t have to try to please or manipulate. However, like all his other interactions, he knew it wasn’t meant to last. He knew he’d eventually have to close himself off from Peter once this assignment was over, and then things would just go back to the way they were, with the two of them having nothing to do with each other. Raivis’ life was a lonely one, but that’s the way it had to be. He didn’t want anyone getting involved and then hurt because of him…

The blonde realized he had been staring at the title of the manuscript for a long time. He gave his head a slight shake as he snapped out of his daze and tried to focus again. His eyes locked onto the author’s name instead- Peter Kirkland. To Raivis, it sounded like the name of a professional writer, someone who wrote best sellers or something. His eyes glinted in amusement as he subconsciously moved his lips to form the syllables. It really was a fine name. Then, suddenly, he realized what he was doing and sunk back into his shoulders embarrassedly. Hastily, he flipped open the manuscript, trying to cover up his action. Maybe the other boy hadn’t noticed, but Raivis kept his eyes locked on the paper anyway, not really wanting to know.

It took a while before Raivis could focus enough to read the story. At this rate, he’s just going to think I’m really slow, Raivis thought. He hoped that Peter would believe that he just had a short attention span and not that he thought the other boy’s work was boring. As Raivis read it, pen in hand, he started marking up the paper, circling parts he wanted to comment on and fixing spelling and grammar mistakes impulsively. He hoped Peter wouldn’t mind him being nitpicky- it was just a habit of his since written errors were hard to ignore when he wanted to focus on the concept. The story itself was enjoyable. Raivis was glad his partner was the type of person who liked to write fun stories rather than more serious or abstract work. Those kinds of pieces were always hard to understand and even harder to talk about. As Raivis set his pen down and watched Peter jotting things in his notebook, he felt comfortable with starting a discussion.

“I’m ready when you are.”

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Tue Mar 15, 2011 5:07 pm

Peter had finished the story well before he noticed Raivis had. At first that had seemed odd to him. Peter didn't consider himself a very strong reader, and he highly doubted that speed was his strong suit either. Raivis, who looked more of the bookish thing out of the two of them could more than likely read circles around him in no time flat. Or, at least thats what Peter had originally though. Now, he wasn't so sure.

Since he had the time, Peter went back to all of the parts in the story he'd mentioned in his notes and re read them again. This time he gave more of an in depth approach to how they were written, and the characters interactions in those sections.

But, that didn't take nearly as long as he had expected. When he stole an upwards glance at Raivis, the other was still reading. It was around this time that Peter started getting concerned. He other was scribing and marking up the paper quite a bit. Had he messed up that much? It was nerve wracking to try and not watch the other as he took that ink to his neatly typed paper.

The self loathing that had slowly away at their exchange of conversation earlier was seeping back into his system. He had really enjoyed the other students paper, but he was starting to have real concerns about his own. Was it boring? Was he looking to much into this? Really, the suspense was killing him. In an attempt to not think about those nagging possibilities, Peter restarted the story again. That had been a horrible idea. The first time it had been enjoyable light reading, this time it was a comparison piece to his own that really out shined his silly little story in every way. The characters were better here, the story was more developed, interactions were spot on. There was really no comparison between Raivis's work and his own, and that stung.

Peter took a moment to look over his criticism again, and sank farther into his seat. He really had no right to be saying anything about Raivis's paper when his own was so deplorable. Peter was toying with the idea of just ripping it out and starting over when Raivis spoke again.

The sound was entirely not what Peter had expected, and he jerked his head up at it. Peter was sure his eyes looked a lot like a dear about to be discarded on the side of the road by a steamroller, but he shook his head in an attempt to mask that obvious discomfort. He took one more look at his page of notes and sunk back into the chair before starting to speak. He already had this, and it would be rude to leave Raivis with absolutely nothing. So even if all of this was utter tripe, he had to present it.

"I'll go first then." Gulp " I like your characters first of all, but I think they need another layer of development. Your main character seems so...bland at the beginning. Either he needs to be very sympathetic - which is what I think you want to do with it- or something. Anything to make him seem easier to relate to for the reader. He just takes everything in at the stories start, and I think without some more details on his life that is difficult for the reader to accept. I mean, anyone that wanted to leave would leave. You need to enforce more that he can't. We get a sense of this, but we have no idea thats how exactly he's feeling. I'm not saying that should be out right stated, but we need more...supporting details to drive that home. The second big thing I noticed was your princess. I know she's a plot driven character, but I think her role is to obvious because she's a princess. Also, does your character really want to be married to a princess? He seems more like the sort of character that would want to melt away into a nice little cabin somewhere, not be pulled by political strings. If she's, say, a lower ranking person for ransom like a wealthy businessman's daughter, she still retains all of the aspects she had as a princess without the extra baggage for your main character. Besides, when you use a princess as your main female lead, you fall into the fantasy genre, and this feels so much better as a science-fiction piece to me."

So that, had not gone well at all. He'd just blabbed about the story without really giving Raivis any time to say a damn thing about it. Really, he had to learn how to control himself!! He was normally a scatter brain, but it wasn't usually this bad! It had to be the nerves. It just had to be.

Peter laughed softly at himself in an attempt to lighten the mood and scratched the back of his head dismissively. "I mean, those are just a few things I noticed. I really enjoyed it! You're really good at writing, and I would love to read this story again when its more refined!" Peter bit his lip at that one too. He had just insulted Raivis's piece again, hadn't he?

"Ha ha, sorry. I didn't mean to sound so hard on it..."

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Sun May 01, 2011 7:27 am

He felt bad for making Peter wait, but when he had finally finished, he listened to his classmate carefully, putting all of his focus into the critique. He couldn’t help but wince a bit- just a habit. He was used to having his work critiqued, but Raivis was also very wary of rejection and disapproval. In his line of work, such things were dangerous. But this was not a client meeting. This was just for class. This was just his story. Raivis nodded in response to all of Peter’s comments. His classmate had made some good points after all.

“No, thank you for being so honest,” he replied, looking down at the notes he had taken while Peter had spoken. “I’ll take all that into consideration when I type up the next draft. I really wanted to flush out my characters more, but it’s hard to do in a story that’s so short.”

He switched his notebook with his classmate’s manuscript on his lap, putting the stack of papers on top and looking down at it. It was time to give his own feedback.

“I think we both have the same difficulty.” Relate to the client. Steady, calm voice. Use non-accusing words. “But first of all, I think your concept is really good. I thought it was interesting and entertaining to read even if it was over so fast.” Start with compliments. Let the praise outweigh the criticism. “I know it’s hard to contain a story like this when it wants to make itself much bigger.” Express understanding. Lessen blame. “But I think it would be better if you kept the plot simpler and filled those few pages with more details.” Offer an appealing alternative. “What you have is good, but this story is easy enough to follow that it doesn’t have to start at the beginning. You could make it just as interesting if you start in the middle and build up your reader’s curiosity. Then, fill them in on the details as you progress to explain why your characters were in that situation in the first place. Any story is better with a little mystery and suspense.”

Had he been too bold? Were his suggestions too vague? Raivis worried what Peter would think of his feedback; maybe his classmate would be left unsatisfied if he didn’t say more. Managing to pull the smile back on his face, he offered another compliment, purple eyes glinting.

“By the way, I thought your ending was wonderful. I’d have to say it’s my favorite part.”

A happy ending...It was too bad things like that never happened in real life.

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Sun May 01, 2011 5:58 pm

Despite all of Peter's over the top criticism, Raivis seemed to take it all with seasoned grace. He nodded respectfully at every comment, and was receptive to what Peter said. All in all, somehow it seemed like he took it all very very well. It surprised Peter, though, looking back on it, Raivis seemed very capable of just accepting what Peter said without really judging him all that much. Maybe he was just good at keeping a pleasing look on his face, but it was nice to have someone who didn't want to just hit you when you spoke. Raivis was calm and cool and collected, and maybe that really meant that he wasn't enjoying this at all, but Peter was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Peter liked to think that Raivis really was enjoying his company. There would be plenty of time to blow this whole thing off later, when Peter really did find out that Raivis thought him repulsive and annoying, but for now the pounding in his chest, and the excitement was not going to let him go.

Raivis then started on his own critique of Peter's work, and despite Peter's original worry about having his writing looked at, that didn't seem to be a problem any more. The words just flowed from Raivis's mouth, and Peter for some reason just enjoyed watching his mouth move. He realized half way through that he was starring rather intently at Raivis, and he looked away. His cheeks heated, but Peter chocked it up to embarrassment. What kind of a guy watched another guys mouth when he talked? How his lips shaped around the words he used and the contours of his lips, and was that a healing cut on his lip?

A creeper, thats who.

In that instant Peter couldn't have been more repulsed with himself. Really, he was horrible. Only creepy people with kissing fetishes - which he didn't have, thank you very much - went around appraising people's lips. Peter felt like an all out creep, and it was a dirty disgusting feeling all together.

So instead of lingering on that rather disturbing thought - did he have a kissing fetish of some sort? He didn't think he did... - when Raivis finished what he was saying, Peter dived right into it all smiles and appealing looks.

"You are entirely right! Starting at the beginning was a poor choice, but you must believe me when I say that I hadn't even considered starting it anywhere else. I mean, it makes perfect sense now, but the thought had never crossed my mind, not once. I do love stories that don't start at the beginning, where you have to piece together things, so I have no idea why that never occurred to me. It would also cut out some of the beginning, which is frankly the weakest part I believe." Peter hummed to himself, thinking over the revisions he would make before continuing.

"I'm sure you noticed, but the story is written for the ending, so to speak. That was the part I wanted to do, more than anything. It was really a joy to write, but getting there was the tricky part. If I can cut out some of that boring beginning, and make it interesting by leaving it out...yes. Yes I do think that would be a splendid idea!"

Peter threw himself into his words, disregarding the spiders crawling his stomach and the pounding of his chest. It would go away, he assured himself. It had to...

"Thank you for such wonderful critiques. Its hard to get quality responses these days for a story you don't intend to publish, don't you agree?"

Actually, now that Peter thought on it, his responses had seemed exceptionally shallow in comparison to Raivis's. He wanted to groan at the realization, but he was currently smiling like an idiot in Raivis's direction, and he wasn't going to change that because of his inability to give decent criticism.

"You really did a wonderful job. Now I'm all excited to start my second draft!" Compliments were good, Peter told himself. They made him look good, and made Raivis study him less. Yes. Compliments would do.

"And I would love to read your second draft, when you've finished it..." If you'll let me went unsaid. Peter doubted he'd ever see Raivis's story again. Raivis was kind, so he'd say certainly. They'd go on their merry way and never speak again. The thought struck Peter as an absolute shame, really. He vowed then and there to invite Raivis for lunch, or dinner, or whatever the next meal was, but not yet. For now, Peter had asked to many questions in to fast a time and really asking that now would just seem creepy. So Peter waited for Raivis to respond, because really that was the polite and gentlemanly thing to do.

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Wed Jun 01, 2011 9:51 am

Raivis breathed a small sigh of relief, glad that his classmate seemed satisfied and even pleased with his feedback. He had almost taken Peter to be the kind who didn’t really take suggestions seriously and shrugged off criticism, but the blonde was embracing his comments so enthusiastically, and for that, Raivis was glad. All the nervousness that had been bottling up inside of him as he had spoken while feeling the other boy’s eyes fixed so intently on him finally began to abate. He fell back into a state of ease and nodded in response to Peter’s question. That wide smile, the excitement in his voice…it was all so different from what the mafioso was used to. Raivis looked back at his classmate with a hint of suspicion, but he quickly masked it again. Even if the other boy was faking his reaction, it wouldn’t do to let on that he suspected him. Instead, Raivis returned the smile, feeling rare satisfaction and appreciation when Peter began praising him. When was the last time someone had told him he’d done well? His family never offered such accolades, even when he completed his tasks perfectly, and Raivis almost wasn’t sure how to accept them.

“Thank you,” he replied meekly. “If you wouldn’t mind, it’d be great if you could read my next draft. I’d really appreciate it.”

Peter’s opinion was important to him, especially since he had already read over the first copy of his story and would be able to spot the differences in a revised version. Raivis also wouldn’t mind the excuse to meet with him again. Any reason he had for staying on campus longer and away from home was more than welcomed in his opinion.

“Maybe later this week?” he suggested. “Or longer if you need more time. Just let me know what works for you. I’ll see you in class anyway. Whenever your own draft is ready, let me know, and we’ll arrange a time to meet again.”

It would have been easy enough just to pass a new manuscript to Peter in class, but Raivis liked the idea of sitting down quietly with him like he was doing now. He wasn’t sure if it was just the chance to escape or if it was, rather, the other boy’s company that appealed to him the most. He just knew that where he was now was better than anywhere else he could be at the moment. The literal and figurative storms raging nearby were convincing proof of that.

Raivis rubbed a sore spot on his hip unconsciously. He had been shoved against a wall only yesterday, threatened, cursed at, and beaten- all for what had ended up being nothing more than a simple misunderstanding. The middleman really had to be more careful with his wording. It was a bad habit of his to spout words before thinking, especially when extremely nervous or under the influence of alcohol. Controlling it was a lesson he had to be taught over and over again, but he supposed this time, it could have ended worse. At least he was presentable enough to meet with his classmate, something he was grateful for as all his new bruises were hidden beneath his clothes.

Raivis suppressed a groan as he looked at his watch. He would probably be expected home soon. If only he had to power to slow time down, he could be at peace for just a bit longer. He narrowed his purple eyes at the rain outside. Maybe he could use the bad weather as an excuse to buy him more time. It wouldn’t be valid for more than an hour or so. Even that was pushing it. He turned his attention back to Peter, smile returning to his face as Raivis waited for the other boy to respond.

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Tue Nov 15, 2011 7:13 am

Raivis seemed quite shy about how much Peter was blabbing. He seemed to fall back in on himself more, pulling into the chair ever so slightly. If Peter hadn't been watching Raivis so closely - like a fucking stalker waiting for the girl to come out of the shower before jumping her - he wouldn't have noticed. Peter wanted to pull back then; apologize for being a huge creep - he hadn't thought he was, but he was sure of it now - and promise to keep his long searching stares to himself as best he could before dashing out into the rain dramatically. Then Raivis smiled again, and the thought was gone from his head entirely. It was another soft thing, similar to the one's he'd seen on Raivis's face earlier. He did look nice when he smiled, wit his lips every so slightly puckered because of the shift of it - no! He must have a kissing fetish! Oh god, how could he have gone through his life not knowing about this!?! And such an inappropriate time to find out!!

The battle inside Peter's head raged until Raivis spoke once more, his voice parting Peter's internal monologue just like Mosas had done in the Prince of Egypt. Not the cartoon one, but the super long live action one with outdated special effects, so that when you watched it today it sort of ended up looking like a funny scene. It was kind of like that, it was something amazing - that Raivis could stop his inner turmoil with a few words - but was also pretty comical to watch. Peter tried his best not to show any sign that he was slightly unwell in the head, but it was probably obvious by now anyway.

As expected, Raivis was agreeing to meet again. It was the polite thing to do, and Raivis was certainly polite. Peter nodded in response, fully expecting to walk away from here and never meet up with Raivis on a one to one basis ever again. It was the only solution to their situation. Raivis was far to kind to let him down like a dead fish, but he certainly wouldn't want to spend more time alone with Peter. He was acting like such a creep there would be no question on the matter.

But then Raivis suggested they meet later that week. He was actually setting up a time of some sort to meet again! This really bode well, and Peter couldn't help that his face lit up at that, but again, all he could bring himself to do was nod. If he opened his mouth things could come spewing and and he certainly didn't want that. But then there was a bit of back tracking, and it was up to Peter to retake the situation and go with it!

"Later this week is fine! I don't know about you, but I am very excited to start working on this story again. So excited that I want to race home and edit it some more right now. I know I'll be done with it by...perhaps Wednesday? I should have lots of improvements by then, and I would be glad to get your feed back on those improvements! Any time is fine by me! Well, I have a criminal justice class at 2, but it isn't that important. It's all things that I know, not saying that I think I know everything, because I don't. I just read the book, and he goes over the things in the book in class, so I don't always have to be there. When would be good for you?"

Once again, attack of the run away mouth. Peter clamped his mouth shut, and offered a smile, hoping that again, he hadn't ruined his chances to much.

Subject: Re: Catalyst (Sealand/Latvia AU) Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:40 am

Peter was talking fast again, and Raivis’ tired brain was trying to do its best to keep up. Wednesday…that could work. Hopefully no jobs would come up, and Raivis could just spend some time on campus without worrying about anything else.

“Wednesday sounds good to me,” he replied. “I should have time to finish my own draft by then.”

The boy looked out the window warily. The rain still hadn’t stopped. Raivis had been hoping that it would at least lessen before he had to venture out there again, but it was still coming down as hard as ever with a strong wind to accompany it.

“I wish it would stop raining,” he found himself mumbling out loud.

He knew he couldn’t stay in the library forever, but this place was a welcome sanctuary that he intended to hide away in as long as he was able to. But what about Peter? The other boy had come in here looking so drenched. He’d probably get sick if he didn’t go home and change his clothes soon. Raiivs really shouldn’t have been keeping him. He should excuse his classmate, let Peter go home, and stay here by himself. It was tempting, but even Raivis knew he was fooling himself. He couldn’t stay longer. He was expected.

Raivis licked his lip that was still sore from a cut and froze suddenly. Was Peter watching him? Had he noticed any injuries? He caught those blue eyes on his lips a moment before Peter pulled them away. Raivis let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and relaxed a bit. He was just being paranoid. A cut on the lip didn’t automatically make him a member of the mafia. Peter couldn’t possibly think anything of it. Raivis was still safe.

He smiled awkwardly and finally pulled himself to his feet. Raivis stretched painfully, almost falling back down into the chair from his body’s protests. He couldn’t help but grimace a bit, but just played it off as stiffness, rolling his shoulders back convincingly and then letting out a sigh.

“I guess there’s no point in putting it off much longer,” he sighed. He was looking out at the rain again, but his thoughts were on his family. He didn’t want to have to see them again. What was it like to have a home that you actually enjoyed returning to? Raivis would never understand those songs about longing to return to that place where you belonged. The blonde would have given anything to belong somewhere else. Anywhere else.

He turned back to Peter.

“Thank you again for the feedback,” Raivis told him sincerely. “It really was a big help.”

He could stay here talking about writing all day. This short time with his classmate had been one of the best parts of his whole week. If only he could escape like this more often. Raivis wondered if maybe he’d be able to take on more classes next semester to keep himself busier, but he knew that no matter what he did, the work would not stop. His assignments would keep coming, and he’d be expected to carry them out. Any other commitment he had would always be second priority.

Trying not to look too depressed, Raivis held out his hand to shake Peter’s, keeping his grip firm as he usually did with his clients. It usually just amused them and encouraged them to crush his fingers in return, but it was a habit Raivis just couldn’t break.

“Take care, Peter,” he said.

As soon as the other boy let go of his hand, Raivis nodded at him and began to make his way to the exit. Without another word, he was gone.

» A-ask Latvia...
» Latvia's Training Log
» Sealand's - Nation To Be - Journal!
» First Link in the Chain (AU - England+Romano+Sealand+Spain)